The miracle that happened yesterday

Something extraordinary has happened.

I don’t know how (and at the moment I don’t much care)

I am just so very grateful that it has

The how I will work out later

 

We had old friends come and stay

People I had known most of my life

And whilst they hadn’t been close they had always been there, in the background

 

I was showing them two photo books that my children had done for me

One for our 30th wedding anniversary (14 years ago)

and one for my 60th Birthday, photos of me with my grandchildren, messages and drawings from them

My friends were exclaiming how beautiful the photos were

How photogenic I was

How wonderful my children, their partners and my grandchildren are

What a beautiful family I had amassed around me

And as I say all the time, the lonely only child that I was has given her grandchildren what she so desperately wanted

People around to love and support her

 

I replied with ‘Oh, I hate looking at photos of me’.

There is one photo missing.

Only one of the 10 grandchildren that I am not holding the day they were born, I remember that day, remember when I said, ‘don’t take a photo of me, I look terrible’.

A hole in this document of my life because I was so concerned about how I looked rather than
me exclaiming my adoration of this new angel that had arrived in my life.

 

After the visitors left I sat alone and looked through those books

And this is where the extraordinary thing happened

As I looked at the photos I saw what they saw

I saw beautiful photos of a very happy person

A person who was sitting in so much joy with these angels that had come into her life

I saw photos of a beautiful person

 

(I will admit that I did notice tiny specks of food in my teeth in some!)

But for me Miss I Hate How I Look in Photos

Yesterday was a day that changed the way I saw myself

I think it had been coming for awhile

But yesterday I had arrived

I had complete acceptance for myself

I had finally found what I work with my clients to find

I could see that spark of the divine that was me