The magic of surrender

It’s been a very long time since I have sat down to write a blog. Six and a half weeks ago I broke my ankle and the next day I wrote myself a list of what I wanted to achieve in the following 2 weeks. Needless to say, none of them were done. Why was that? I had the time, I was stuck in bed with nothing else to do, there was no housework to distract me or other things I could do which I normally use for procrastinating. The bottom line was that my head wasn’t ‘there’, the muse had left the building. I was just unable to write. I blame the pain and the pain killers and then later the anaesthetic, which always have a detrimental effect on my brain. I have had anaesthetics before and I think the after effects must be like dementia, I just couldn’t make my brain work. I knew I knew how to do it but I couldn’t work out the process that was required to do the task, it was exhausting.

I have managed in the ensuing weeks to finish all the other things on the list but today is the first day I have been drawn to sit here and write a blog.

Today is the last day I will be home on my own during the day. My husband finishes work this afternoon and then we will be with family until mid-way through January, there will be no time or space for writing…or for doing any internal work which is what I have spent the time doing.

What have I done over the past 6 ½ weeks? I have dealt with the frustration of having the rest of the year planned out and having those plans thwarted. I have come to terms with the fact that the Universe had plans that were very different to mine and I had no control over that. I have worked on the issues that I had said I wanted to deal with before the end of the year. So that I can move into 2014 free of all that very heavy baggage that I had been carting around for such a long time. Now in hindsight I can say ‘thank you’ to the Universe, but it took me sometime to come to that place.

I did heaps and heaps of ThetaHealing® on myself each time an issue came up. I had phone healings with friends to heal the physical as well as the emotional. But there was still a very long held issue that was proving elusive and it escalated, as these things do when they are coming up to be released. While I was lying in bed trying to ‘run’ from the issue that I needed and wanted to address because I was sick and tired of it being such a stumbling block. I can laugh now (or maybe just an indulgent smile) but I was literally kicking and screaming to avoid having to deal with it, tears and tantrums actually. Finally late on a Friday afternoon after an exhausting week of misery …. I gave up, I gave in, I surrendered …. and a very surprising thing happened ….
It just disappeared!!