Our relationship with our mother is the most intense relationship we will ever have 

More than the relationship with your sexual partner.
More than the relationship with your child.
More than the relationship with your father.

Ridiculous you might say.

But think about it for a minute.

You were inside you mother’s body for 9 months (if you were lucky)
You felt her feelings
You listen to her thoughts
You shared her blood
Every reaction she had during that nine months you had too!

Then you had all those months where she was the one who kept you alive
Feeding you and nurturing you

We needed to make sure that our mother loved us
So that she would protect us and keep us alive

Much as we might want to deny it
We are animals and because of that we know instinctively that we need to stay with the tribe in order to stay alive.

Now you may argue that you had the same relationship with the child you carried in your belly.

But you’d be wrong.

Because in that case they were the one who was receiving all that from you
You weren’t getting it from them.

Think on that for a moment

And you will understand why our relationship with our mother is so intense.

She only has to give you a look and you know exactly what she means.

Yes, we all have very different relationships with our mothers

But no matter the state of our relationship at the bottom is our need for her to love us

Because if your mother doesn’t love you, then what does it say about YOU?

Years ago, in a previous life, I have sat with teenagers whose mothers had abused, neglected and abandoned them and yet they were still desperate to get that acknowledgement from their mothers.

It was eye opening for me and also made me look into my relationship with my mother

and that’s a story for another time …

Many people call this ‘the mother wound’ but I don’t like that term because for me it sounds like it’s permanent
 
And I know that’s not true.
I am proof of that! 
As well as hundreds of my clients
[When I work with you it’s not about blaming your mother.
She, like the rest of us, was only acting out of her pain.
It’s about understanding you]

What’s your relationship with your mother like?